A normal day for me, when my health is present, goes like so:

5 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Quick bite (apple/orange/energy gel) and out for approx. 90 minute to run.
7 a.m. - Back home to eat breakfast/shower.
8 a.m. - (or sooner) Arrive at work.
11:30 a.m. - Small snack (fruit/energy gel).
1 p.m. - Leave office for lunch-hour run/weights/swim. Whatever suits the day.
2:30 p.m. - Post-run snack (fruit/granola bar)
5 p.m. (rarely) Leave work, hopefully to get in another quick workout of some sort. Anything’ll usually do.
7:30 p.m. - Dinner

This, I feel, is the outline of a great day. Yes there’s an awful lot of variance at times due to my work schedule and whether or not there is an event I have to work on campus. But, when that’s not the case, this is pretty much how it goes. And I tend to feel great from start to finish.

But I think it’s kind of deceiving, in a way. Looking at the early wake-up and the several attempts throughout to get in a productive workout while eating healthy, it appears to be the schedule of a disciplined runner. And, I must admit, I would have used this schedule up ‘til a few months ago as evidence that I was, more than likely, a disciplined athlete.

However, now that I’ve been without running since December, I’m starting to realize just how undisciplined I am as a runner. Motivation, it seems, can mask a lack of discipline. I am extremely passionate about running, and because I get so much joy out of it I am easily motivated to get out the door and do it and to do the supplementary things necessary to improve at it - such as eating right, getting in a fair amount of cross training, etc.

I was really feeling as if I were a disciplined runner in December when I took my break from running. I didn’t want to, I wanted to be out running every morning and every afternoon, but knowing that I’d been logging a lot of mileage over the previous 10 months without much in the way of a break, I took two weeks off. Then at the end of the month I did something a disciplined runner wouldn’t have done - I returned to running doing too much too soon, and even when the first irriation set in I kept running for a few days until the irritation flared into something more.

In the 2 1/2 months since, I’ve made it to the gym and the pool sporadically. Some weeks are good weeks, where I make it in daily (or more often), but in other weeks I struggle to make it in every other day and at the same time all but stop doing the stretching and rehab exercises I know I should do. When the motivation is there, I am able to do the things I know I need to do and to eat healthy, but all too often the motivation has been lagging and I revert to multiple bad habits.

I certainly think that motivation is a big part of discipline; it would be tough to be disciplined in anything if there was no passion and joy behind it. But I think it’s important not to let motivation become bigger than discipline; but to keep it in check and not let it drown out the voice in your head that tells you you’d be better served by cutting the run 10 minutes short in order to stretch properly or because that nagging pain in the back of your leg could become 10x worse in those 10 short minutes.

This week has started off as a good one in terms of discipline. I’ve gotten in a good elliptical workout at the gym and a good pool session. I’ve started doing ultrasounds with the atletic trainers and have heel lifts cut out for all of my shoes so as to relieve some of the stretching of the achilles throughout the day, and I’ve done a better job of staying away from the oversized candy jars at the office.

The motivation to be disciplined is currently swinging in my favor, now I’m just hoping that I can ride this wave long enough so that I will gain the discipline needed to be a disciplined runner.